DIARY ENTRY
not from Harriet herself... but a slave that she had lead to freedom
Der diery,
Questions had begun poppin’ up in my mind lately. Was it right ta agree to go? What if I regretted it later? But there’s no turnin’ back - it’s a Sat’rday night - the night where escapin’ slaves, like me, were ta gather up and leave with harrit Tubmin. Sum said she was like Moses - bringin’ or leadin’ slaves ta freedom. I didn’ know much ‘bout harrit, but there was word that tonight was the night wher we could ern our freedom. An’ if that was true, I would be a slave no more.
I made my way to the gatherin’ place, stumblin’ over plants and roots that seemed determined ta trip me up. I arrived, huffing in exhaustion and my eyes squinted to make out the form of harrit - all dressed ‘n ready fer the jerney. But I wasn’t the only one who came today - there had ta be more than ten people. Later, harrit said there was a total of Twinty four, includin’ me.
We started off on the jerney, and I could tell that it was difficult fer harrit. Perhaps it was because there were so many of us. I felt bad fer her, but I also knew that she should be able ta do this because she’d done it before. Sympathy was not something that I was accustomed to feelin’.
But as the day went on, sunlight raised its fingers toward my back an’ burned inta my back. Despite it bein’ broad daylight, I felt like I was bein’ watched - constantly, even. There was a wild, thumpin’ feelin’ I had in my chest - like my Hart was gettin’ all nervous and outta control. I did my best ta keep movin’, but it was hard - my feet were feelin’ like lead by the time the sun had started dippin’.
Swamps were somethin’ I’d never seen - yet I’d heard about them before. But I was not prepared for the bone-chillin’ agony of that swamp. One moment, we was walkin’ along, and the next, harrit commanded us to move inta that swamp at once. We were all losin’ heart - the other slaves ‘n I. No food, no nothin’. My teeth chattered like crazy, my hair was slicked down and soppin’ wet. Hmph, I prob’ly looked like some kinda crazy stray dog! And yet, we continued hidin’ in the swamp till for a whole day - even when the Sun had disappeared behind the clouds and inta its own cover - as if isolatin’ itself.
Why did I even agree ta this in the first place? I thought that harrit would lead us outta Mary land lin, and it would be nice ‘n easy. Oh, I was wrong - so very wrong. By each min’ite, my patience was shortenin’. I kept starin’ at harrit, just waitin’ and waitin’ for her to speak and say that we could get outta this forsaken swamp! Why couldn’t we just leave - or go find someplace else ta hide?
Crickets chirped, beginnin’ their nightly calls. The sounds steadily rose and fell, and my eyes drooped then snapped open. My mouth was parched ‘n a foul taste remained. Slow anger trickled inside me, an’ slowly flickered ta life like a fire.
I was done.
Risin’ from my crouched position, I forced myself to git up an’ my legs to stretch to ther full length so that I could stand. My muscles screeched in protest. I bit my tongue from howlin’ in pain, and spoke - though I had the sense to speak quietly, yet loud enough fer harrit ta hear me. “I’m plum tuckered out, harrit. I’m gonna tern aroun’ and go back ta the plantation. I’ve had enough of this nonsense!”
Harrit turned, her gaze flickerin’ ta mine and stared at me levelly. “You cannot. We have gone too far out fer you to return undetected.”
“Don’t tell me what ta do!” I snapped, glarin’ at her. The others crowded around me, and spoke in hushed voices. “Just a leettle further, George! Don’ leave us now - you can make it!”
“Do ya even know when we can get outta this swamp?!” I demanded.
“C’mon George - there’s been worse things that we’ve gone through on the Plantation.”
A groan of annoyance escaped my mouth, but ther was no reason ta keep arguin’. Evintualy, I gave in - and agreed ta keep goin’. But I was determin’ ta get outta this swamp. My whole body ached so very much - like my master had whipped me again. There was a doubt formin’ inside me - what if we didn’ get food till tomorrow or had ta hide in a swamp again? Or if we got caught, and nevr made it outta Mary land lin? I swear I would never fergive harrit if we got caught...
At last, a low voice sounded, and it took me a few minutes to decipher the barely audible words. We can move again. Around me, groans met my ears as evry’one got to their feet an’ dragged themselves outta the murky waters.
I had lost all Hart by then - even when we got out. I just didn’ want ta keep goin’ anymoar. I know I said that I would keep goin’, but I was darn determined to leave, or remain behind.
“C’mon - get movin’, get movin’!” Harrit hissed, then scanned the area before she motioned us to follow her.
My eyes narrowed, an’ I crossed my stick-thin arms. “I’m goin’ back - to the Plantation.”
Gasps of surprise erupted all around me, and harrit turned slowly to look at me - her eyes were spittin’ fire and I swore I could see her eye color changin’ ta a darker color. “What did ya say?”
“I said I’m goin’ back. I refuse ta keep goin’.”
“But George, you said you would go wit us!”
Harrit made her way towards me, an’ suddenly I got this very nervous-like feelin’ in my chest. I felt like my breaths were gettin’ shorter, an’ I stiffened when something was suddenly in my face - a gun. Uh oh.
“Move or die!”
I gulped, dragging my gaze up to harrit’s - her whole frame was shaking in pure fury. Mistake! Bad mistake. Alarms went off inside me, blarin’ like crazy. Fear turned my mouth dry and prevented me from bein’ able to utter a single word.
“Well?” harrit snarled.
I swallowed, then licked my dry lips and tried to speak. No words came out.
“Speak!”
An involuntary squeak escaped my mouth. “Y - yes m - m’am!”
I immediately felt the unseeable burden an’ pressure of the aimed gun lift from my face. I got up slowly, ‘n dragged myself outta the swamp - water drippin’ from my clothes, green stuff plastered ta my arms, legs, hair.
And I knew that it was a huge mistake on my part ta act like that. Never will I refuse to do something again in front of harrit...
-----
Bein’ the swamp fer so long seemed ta have zapped all my energy, an’ I could barely hold in my complaints - my tongue hurt fer the rest of the day after biting down on it to keep myself from talkin’. The other slaves’ heads were hangin’ down like a tired dog’s, their shoulders hunched like an old man’s. The wiry form of harrit led the way, her arms stiff and held tightly ta her sides. Don’t she ever git tired from this endless walkin’? Only determination kept me goin’, but I knew I was gonna give out soon. I can’t. No way was I riskin’ harrit’s temper agin. I panted like a dog would, an’ my back hurt the way it did after a long day of workin’ on the Plantation. My clothes clung to my skin as tightly as a baby would to his mama. How was I gonna have the energy ta keep goin’?
// two days later //
Had we really, truly reached Can i da? The land that was told ta be the one of freedom? Where I could live in peace? Perhaps it was true, when the excited hoot of harrit met my ears before it echoed like a spirit’s whisper - and then slowly dwindled to silence. If I strained my ears, I could hear just the faintest murmur of her voice. “Go! Go embrace your freedom, my free people!”
Absoloot delight and new found hope rushed to life inside my Hart like a flame that was steadily growin’ stronger by each minite. I’m free, I’m free! Free as that bird I see in the sky, flyin’ as he pleases. I could see the other tremblin’ slaves - no, free blacks - out of the corner of my eye, their expressions mirroring mine. Must be just as excited yet nervous as I am. My eyes flicker down to my hands - worn, dirty, and caked wit mud - and shakin’ they was. Somehow, I had gotten here - I had made it!
And so, der diery -
I am now a free black…
Always will be…
Forever.
- George
Questions had begun poppin’ up in my mind lately. Was it right ta agree to go? What if I regretted it later? But there’s no turnin’ back - it’s a Sat’rday night - the night where escapin’ slaves, like me, were ta gather up and leave with harrit Tubmin. Sum said she was like Moses - bringin’ or leadin’ slaves ta freedom. I didn’ know much ‘bout harrit, but there was word that tonight was the night wher we could ern our freedom. An’ if that was true, I would be a slave no more.
I made my way to the gatherin’ place, stumblin’ over plants and roots that seemed determined ta trip me up. I arrived, huffing in exhaustion and my eyes squinted to make out the form of harrit - all dressed ‘n ready fer the jerney. But I wasn’t the only one who came today - there had ta be more than ten people. Later, harrit said there was a total of Twinty four, includin’ me.
We started off on the jerney, and I could tell that it was difficult fer harrit. Perhaps it was because there were so many of us. I felt bad fer her, but I also knew that she should be able ta do this because she’d done it before. Sympathy was not something that I was accustomed to feelin’.
But as the day went on, sunlight raised its fingers toward my back an’ burned inta my back. Despite it bein’ broad daylight, I felt like I was bein’ watched - constantly, even. There was a wild, thumpin’ feelin’ I had in my chest - like my Hart was gettin’ all nervous and outta control. I did my best ta keep movin’, but it was hard - my feet were feelin’ like lead by the time the sun had started dippin’.
Swamps were somethin’ I’d never seen - yet I’d heard about them before. But I was not prepared for the bone-chillin’ agony of that swamp. One moment, we was walkin’ along, and the next, harrit commanded us to move inta that swamp at once. We were all losin’ heart - the other slaves ‘n I. No food, no nothin’. My teeth chattered like crazy, my hair was slicked down and soppin’ wet. Hmph, I prob’ly looked like some kinda crazy stray dog! And yet, we continued hidin’ in the swamp till for a whole day - even when the Sun had disappeared behind the clouds and inta its own cover - as if isolatin’ itself.
Why did I even agree ta this in the first place? I thought that harrit would lead us outta Mary land lin, and it would be nice ‘n easy. Oh, I was wrong - so very wrong. By each min’ite, my patience was shortenin’. I kept starin’ at harrit, just waitin’ and waitin’ for her to speak and say that we could get outta this forsaken swamp! Why couldn’t we just leave - or go find someplace else ta hide?
Crickets chirped, beginnin’ their nightly calls. The sounds steadily rose and fell, and my eyes drooped then snapped open. My mouth was parched ‘n a foul taste remained. Slow anger trickled inside me, an’ slowly flickered ta life like a fire.
I was done.
Risin’ from my crouched position, I forced myself to git up an’ my legs to stretch to ther full length so that I could stand. My muscles screeched in protest. I bit my tongue from howlin’ in pain, and spoke - though I had the sense to speak quietly, yet loud enough fer harrit ta hear me. “I’m plum tuckered out, harrit. I’m gonna tern aroun’ and go back ta the plantation. I’ve had enough of this nonsense!”
Harrit turned, her gaze flickerin’ ta mine and stared at me levelly. “You cannot. We have gone too far out fer you to return undetected.”
“Don’t tell me what ta do!” I snapped, glarin’ at her. The others crowded around me, and spoke in hushed voices. “Just a leettle further, George! Don’ leave us now - you can make it!”
“Do ya even know when we can get outta this swamp?!” I demanded.
“C’mon George - there’s been worse things that we’ve gone through on the Plantation.”
A groan of annoyance escaped my mouth, but ther was no reason ta keep arguin’. Evintualy, I gave in - and agreed ta keep goin’. But I was determin’ ta get outta this swamp. My whole body ached so very much - like my master had whipped me again. There was a doubt formin’ inside me - what if we didn’ get food till tomorrow or had ta hide in a swamp again? Or if we got caught, and nevr made it outta Mary land lin? I swear I would never fergive harrit if we got caught...
At last, a low voice sounded, and it took me a few minutes to decipher the barely audible words. We can move again. Around me, groans met my ears as evry’one got to their feet an’ dragged themselves outta the murky waters.
I had lost all Hart by then - even when we got out. I just didn’ want ta keep goin’ anymoar. I know I said that I would keep goin’, but I was darn determined to leave, or remain behind.
“C’mon - get movin’, get movin’!” Harrit hissed, then scanned the area before she motioned us to follow her.
My eyes narrowed, an’ I crossed my stick-thin arms. “I’m goin’ back - to the Plantation.”
Gasps of surprise erupted all around me, and harrit turned slowly to look at me - her eyes were spittin’ fire and I swore I could see her eye color changin’ ta a darker color. “What did ya say?”
“I said I’m goin’ back. I refuse ta keep goin’.”
“But George, you said you would go wit us!”
Harrit made her way towards me, an’ suddenly I got this very nervous-like feelin’ in my chest. I felt like my breaths were gettin’ shorter, an’ I stiffened when something was suddenly in my face - a gun. Uh oh.
“Move or die!”
I gulped, dragging my gaze up to harrit’s - her whole frame was shaking in pure fury. Mistake! Bad mistake. Alarms went off inside me, blarin’ like crazy. Fear turned my mouth dry and prevented me from bein’ able to utter a single word.
“Well?” harrit snarled.
I swallowed, then licked my dry lips and tried to speak. No words came out.
“Speak!”
An involuntary squeak escaped my mouth. “Y - yes m - m’am!”
I immediately felt the unseeable burden an’ pressure of the aimed gun lift from my face. I got up slowly, ‘n dragged myself outta the swamp - water drippin’ from my clothes, green stuff plastered ta my arms, legs, hair.
And I knew that it was a huge mistake on my part ta act like that. Never will I refuse to do something again in front of harrit...
-----
Bein’ the swamp fer so long seemed ta have zapped all my energy, an’ I could barely hold in my complaints - my tongue hurt fer the rest of the day after biting down on it to keep myself from talkin’. The other slaves’ heads were hangin’ down like a tired dog’s, their shoulders hunched like an old man’s. The wiry form of harrit led the way, her arms stiff and held tightly ta her sides. Don’t she ever git tired from this endless walkin’? Only determination kept me goin’, but I knew I was gonna give out soon. I can’t. No way was I riskin’ harrit’s temper agin. I panted like a dog would, an’ my back hurt the way it did after a long day of workin’ on the Plantation. My clothes clung to my skin as tightly as a baby would to his mama. How was I gonna have the energy ta keep goin’?
// two days later //
Had we really, truly reached Can i da? The land that was told ta be the one of freedom? Where I could live in peace? Perhaps it was true, when the excited hoot of harrit met my ears before it echoed like a spirit’s whisper - and then slowly dwindled to silence. If I strained my ears, I could hear just the faintest murmur of her voice. “Go! Go embrace your freedom, my free people!”
Absoloot delight and new found hope rushed to life inside my Hart like a flame that was steadily growin’ stronger by each minite. I’m free, I’m free! Free as that bird I see in the sky, flyin’ as he pleases. I could see the other tremblin’ slaves - no, free blacks - out of the corner of my eye, their expressions mirroring mine. Must be just as excited yet nervous as I am. My eyes flicker down to my hands - worn, dirty, and caked wit mud - and shakin’ they was. Somehow, I had gotten here - I had made it!
And so, der diery -
I am now a free black…
Always will be…
Forever.
- George